My (Abridged) Philosophy on Domination and Submission

Originally Published 2/13/2016

When was the last time you asked your potential domme their philosophy on domination, torture, and humiliation? Some of you make skip it because you’re (correctly) intimidated, that’s understandable. The rest of you may (incorrectly) assume that we all come from the same school of thought or training regime, that’s naive ignorance. Finally, a minority of you may make the grave mistake of putting very little stock in the amount of calculation, care, and crafting designing a scene takes. For those of you that do ask, good for you! Gold star! Or 10 lashes, whichever you’d prefer!

I’m a sadist through and through, I gain intense glee from inflicting pain and degradation upon my willing subs. See what I dropped there? WILLING. I am thrilled to train, condition, and push you to your absolute limits, but you have to be willing to go there. This is all a longwinded way of saying I practice informed consent. You may have seen something that really gets your nethers all hot and tingly, but if I turn you down for that particular activity, it’s either because I don’t feel equipped to be it with reasonable safety, OR I don’t feel like you fully understand the risks associated with it. You see me, because you understand that I know what is best. I love a bratty bottom as much as the next person, but do not test my patience, because you have not earned it yet.

As much personal satisfaction as I receive from the torment I rain down upon you, I do have an outwardly directed objective. I believe that through submission we can become our more truthful and authentic selves. Things that have terrified us, made us feel insecure, or things that just make us feel like complete weirdos can be brought out, played with, and finally worked with. However, let me be clear – BDSM is not therapy, but it can be therapeutic. Coming into my service is not always easy, I will push you. With informed consent I will push you, to examine and explore the things that scare – and by extension excite – you the most.

I don’t take the connection that invariably forms between a dominant and a sub lightly, and you shouldn’t either.